Thursday, September 30, 2010

emo

im an emo person. yes, its true.
Probably you want to hear a story from me right,on what leads to my emotional sensitive feelings; or you dont want to hear it just go away, close the tab now! screw you.
So, here are the reasons;

  • Im tired of being someone else's amusement. Situation: the reason we hang on to someone is to share the bitterness and sweetness of life right, this particular person makes me feel like im used. I just wonder which part i didnt do it right, and does that really makes you think that i dont deserve to be well treated?think.
  • I dont think I manage to please everyone. Situation: Like seriously, that's a fucking loser when you try to please everyone. Have some mercy to ourself heh?
  • Lack of getaway or some escapades lately. Situation: For me, I see travelling is important, adapting to different environment is a good way to search our true inner self. I dont know where else to go since i dont have companion and enough MONEY to do the travelling.
  • Money. Situation: To survive decently in KL, yes, I mean DECENTLY, where you can good food and good place to stay, money is really fucking important man. without it, you'll be like trash or "bohsia", because you want to enjoy at the same time. well at least, for "anak perantauan" like me.haha
  • Its hard to find a really nice guy eh? Situation: When u get treated badly, you wish on how you could find a really nice guy to treat you nicely, do everything for you. yeah, dream on. Even if you (guys) didnt touch your girl but doing infidelity behind her back, that is not fucking nice ok.
  • I kinda have this urge to be a downloader again, but the internet kills the mood like fucking annoying. Situation: Imagine you already have bunch of files that already have 99% downloaded parts, and for a second, connection time out. or cant connect to the server. FFFUUUUUUU! im so in d mood of HIMYM season 6 and this is what the internet gave me??????FFFUUUUUUUUUUU! 
ok, now you know why im a bit emotional these days. now PLEASE, let me be myself this time...
you know who you are. 

ok, thats all, fellas.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

problems of life

I don't know where to begin this post, but this one thing bugs me for weeks. It started when someone and god knows what she had done it "purposely" or "accidentally", read my messages in my handphone inbox, and after that emotionally updating her status update (intentionally for me) for like several days. Yes. I know may be one of you know this "reader" but it just cant get out of my system that the fact that she, had read my inbox(my personal stuff) purposely or or what we called "suka2". Fuck. Is she crazy?  or am I crazy? The reasons that i know the status was about me are;i) she talked about something that was ONLY slipped through my inbox, because me and my boyfriend never do KISS and TELL to anyone. (yeah.i dare u to ask anyone around us.duhh) ii)that night she read my inbox, a message from a friend is opened before im fucking open it and read it myself in the morning. iii)i just have THE INSTINCT. haha...
but what really bugs me are
i)my stuff arent safe anymore.someone might go through them anytime like fucking ANYTIME. and it scares me dowh...
ii)am i crazy? because i cant accept the fact that she had read my inbox.god knows how many times she had done it before...ggggrrrr
iii)am i that crazy or is she crazy?aiyooyooo...
maybe im just too ignorance, and she's craving for my attention or maybe im just too good to be true.hahaha..
okeyh, dah. ngantuk.
staying up late making me like zombie nowadays. 
cheers, fellas. oyeah, this is only between us aight?hahahaha....
p/s pardon me for my ignorance grammatical errors. huhu

Thursday, March 18, 2010

missing home, badly.


this is the reason why i'm missing home.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

procrastination is bad

Guess what?as far as i remembered, that's the password for my brother email account. Without space of course. My dearly brother in Tennessee US, i hope you did not read this blog.hehe. At some point, because of that weirdness predicament he has, he is in America right now, pursuing his study as compared to me, studying in UM,KL might be extend for the next few years. There have been lots of difference between me and my brother since we were kid, like he always want to be the one who take the bath first early in the morning before going to school. He wants to be number one in everything and i, trying to be a good older sister to him, i said to myself,"let him be...let him be..". I really hope he's doing okay in everything he do right now.amiin.

Enough about my little brother, its now about me. No...no...no..i am not comfortable talking about myself. Really, i mean it. It has been almost a year for me and c. We fight every single day and can't believe we made through until now, well, its a very long journey though, not yet finished of course. I have been meaning to update myself the progress of my self finding in this 21 years of my life. I still love INCUBUS and adore the man, BRANDON BOYD for about years now. I really want to meet him one day. And this is a promise to myself. I think it's very selfish of me using so many Is' and myselfs in this post. But hey, its about me anyway, and don't believe when i said i am not comfortable talking about myself just now. See, im using myself again. duhh

Its funny when i think i have crush about things or someone or bunch of people, it'll lasts for years. Like the other c, our relationship made the whole 3 years. Its always come to the one you are most comfortable with, like me, when i am down, or in a very ease mode, i'll turn on my music player and have some my Incubus time. It is refreshing for me. 
For me and current c, though we fight everyday, im afraid to say this, he will be my bestfriend for forever. I really hope. And for the part that i love him, it makes the whole thing sexier. lol. I'll be dead if my parents read this. Adore him as much as i adore sleeping, like, a lot. GEE. 
I will stop writing now. My words are getting crazier.
Cheers fella!